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Learning to let go of perfectionism is a lesson that comes to me on repeat. Striving for Perfectionism is a trap, and can steal quite a bit from us if we let it. And as I’m finding myself being handed a refresher course on the trials of perfectionism, I’ve decided to share because: 1. I’m not perfect and, 2. Neither is anyone else.
Flooded by a list of things that I want to accomplish in a day, I take the first few sips of coffee and drink up all of the possibilities that a day could unwrap. The things that I most am eager to do are also the ones that I have had a habit of pushing to the side when life puts the pace into high gear. But why? There is one nasty word that, for me, sums it up, well… perfectly: Perfectionism. It’s the beast that, in the past, has caused me to become paralyzed.
Embrace the Wobble
The fear of not being able to do something without error the first time around has been an invisible barrier at times, causing me to stop. But that’s just silly because how on earth do we learn without mistakes and missteps? There has been no child in human history who has stood up on their own accord fully able to walk without wobble. In fact, the mere image of it in my mind’s eye makes me feel uneasy because it is so UNNATURAL. (Much like how the dancing baby on Alley McBeal used to weird me out.) The wobble – the shaky footing and toppling head over heels fumble… it’s tough to watch as an outsider, but it’s the only way for the balancing and muscle memory to be learned. There is value in the wobble.
There’s a good thing about recurring life lessons: they hang around until you learn your lesson, and pop up when you need a refresher. That may not sound like a good thing, but believe me – it is! It’s like we have an (almost) infinite amount of tries to get it right. No, we can’t go back and have a do-over with the exact same circumstances and people, but every day, we are given a fresh new start. It’s a new opportunity to stretch our legs and work the muscles that we’ve been building, and discover which muscles need a good workout. And today’s exercise is…
Let go of Perfectionism
Perfectionism is an intangible goal that has the power to steal away wonderful moments from us. The brunch where you worry about the slightly overcooked crust of the quiche? Stolen belly laughs with your friends. The job you didn’t apply to because you didn’t have 100% of the qualifications that they were looking for? Stolen opportunities to share your talents. The day at the beach you passed up because you didn’t yet lose those 10 lbs you made a New Year’s resolution to lose? The friend you didn’t invite in because you had a pile of dishes in the sink and a basket of unfolded laundry on your bed? All moments which were stolen by the fear of not being, or at the very least APPEARING, perfect.
Well… guess what folks? Perfection is a mirage. No one is perfect. (Well, except for you over there. You are pretty darn near perfect, my dear… but I suppose “pretty darn near” isn’t exactly perfect either, is it?)
Anyway, I’d much rather share with you my imperfections and internal dialogue than a glossy misrepresentation of who I am.
So where are the places where I get hung up? Here are a few examples:
Finish the painting.
I can’t. By the time I take out all of the supplies, I won’t have time to make it perfect.
Write a Blog post.
I can’t. I don’t have a perfectly developed idea that will change the world. Besides, what photo have I taken recently that is inspirational enough with perfect focus, composition, and lighting?
Send out the book proposal.
I can’t. The book isn’t yet perfect, and therefore, neither is the proposal.
Just Move Forward
For every bullet point of things that I want to develop in my life, there are the nagging thoughts from an irrational place within that expects perfectionism from me. I say irrational because absolutely nothing is perfect. Ever. Why on earth would we expect perfectionism from ourselves if we wouldn’t expect it from anyone else? (Nor should we!)
So cut yourself some slack (I say to myself), and learn to let go of perfectionism. JUST. MOVE. FORWARD. You don’t have to run a marathon, but inching forward is still movement compared being completely paralyzed from fear of falling short of perfect!
The painting?
I’m giving myself permission to enjoy and fall in love with the process of creating again, and not strive for a particular outcome at the moment.
The Blog Post?
I’m grabbing a stock photo and popping on the automated grammar checker to catch my missteps. I’m focusing on the message I want to share, and not worrying about creating world-changing and inspiring posts.
Fearfully Small > Perfectly Paralyzed
Embrace the small beginnings of the things you want most in your life because when you open up enough to say that you will begin regardless of mistakes and imperfections, you are declaring that you are moving forward regardless of fear. Choose fearfully small movements over paralyzing perfectionism. Every day. Again and again. Until… one day you will turn around and be amazed at what you have accomplished.
Miss Libby Doodle, a beloved member of the active circle of spacegeeks whom I’ve befriended over the years, summed it up (ahem) perfectly when she created this lovely piece of artwork below. When I stumbled upon it on her Etsy shop a few years ago, I grabbed it and have had it beside my computer ever since, to remind me to embrace, celebrate, and don’t hide my imperfections!
