14 Lessons Learned Fourteen Years after 9/11

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A punch to the gut. That’s what today feels like. Every year, for the last fourteen years.

I wasn’t there that day. I didn’t lose a loved one. I didn’t dig through rubble, and I didn’t put on a uniform to serve my community nor country. I just lived through witnessing it from afar, and that was enough to rattle me for the rest of my life.

I suppose in one way or another, many of us carry around scars from that day and the ones following, but a scar is what’s left over when our bodies have healed as best they can, albeit changed. Today, I’m running my fingers over the emotional scars that were delivered fourteen years ago today, and instead of remembering the horrors that left them, I will focus on the things that I have learned since.

1. Life can, and often does, take unexpected turns.
   There’s no use in fighting it, because it’s just a part of living, and soon enough, you’ll figure out where to go from the unexpected places you’ll find yourself. Sometimes it take a while, but have faith that you’ll find your footing and soon enough, you will.
   
2. Life can be painful. 
   Here are just a few instances of hurts we all experience from time to time: heartbreak, rejection, loss, failure, betrayal, and even growing pains. The good news is that those are usually only temporary pangs of anguish. Sometimes the pain brings us to our knees in a puddle of tears, but if you hang on, you’ll find strength to pull yourself up and keep moving forward and when you do, there in your pocket is the understanding and knowledge on how to help those who you find in a puddle a little further down the road.
   
3. Some pain never really fades.
   This one sucks. We learn to live with it, walk with it, and grow from it, but it’s always there if you look for it, sometimes sneaking up on you when you least expect it. It’s up to us how we choose to live with it, and I’m here to tell you that ignoring it will only work for so long.
4. Love lasts forever.
   No, not that kind of love. Love goes well beyond romantic love; that’s the kind of love I’m talking about. Recently, a friend made the comment that “nothing lasts forever,” to which I responded, “That’s bullshit. Love. Love lasts forever.” Okay, maybe it’s a stretch, but I’ll stand by my response until my last breath. The love that we choose to give freely in our lives does more than lighten our own hearts. Whether we choose to act lovingly to our partners, children, family, friends, coworkers, or strangers alike, it’s an action that is cast off and multiplied again and again. Small deeds and efforts may seem insignificant when you give without expectation, but if you are the recipient, then you know how meaningful it is to receive such love. It has the power to soften the blow of a tragedy; it has the potential to change a misdirected thought; it has the power to save a life. Love has power… the kind of power that keeps on going if we don’t let it stop with us.
5. There is a great amount of kindness in the world to combat the ugly things that also exist in our world.
   When tragedy shakes the very ground we stand on, there are always the people who are the first to rise in order to help those who have fallen. Those are the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen.
6. We see what we choose to focus on.
   If you are looking for someone to blame, and lay fault at their feet, you’ll find it. If you are looking for a reason why you cannot do something, you’ll find it. If you are looking for drama or ways to belittle and cut others down, you’ll find it. But, in the same respect, if you choose to look for the positive things in life, you too will find them in abundance. If you choose to look for good natured, loving people, you’ll start to see them more and more often. If you look for opportunities to help, you’ll find them. If you look for genuine and authentic beauty, you’ll find it. If you look for joy and happiness and reasons to celebrate, you’ll find it. Choose wisely, my dear, because the story of your life depends upon what you choose to focus on day in and day out.
7. We are responsible for being the good in this world.
   Life isn’t always crystal clear when it comes to good vs. evil, but we have a responsibility to ourselves and humanity to live with an intent to seek out and be the good in the world. Could you imagine if we all focused a little more on that, living in a world full of empathy? Oh, the things that we could accomplish if we each fulfilled our part willingly!
8. We are blessed beyond measure.
   If you are reading this, then just like me, you have been blessed. Compared to many in my little part of the world, I have very little, but that is a very narrow way to view things. I have shelter, food, clothing, electricity, clean water to drink and I surround myself and my daughter with books and books and many books. I am blessed beyond material possessions, though, and I am always full with gratitude for these things.
9. We need to think bigger.
   Short term thinking has weakened us as a society, especially when it comes to our politicians and leaders in business and government. Yeah, I said it, and I mt glaring eyes are looking at both sides of the aisle. This is something that gets me fired up on a regular basis. It makes me want to send a copy of Ron Garan’s book, The Orbital Perspective, to every member of our government and require them to write a book report on what they learned… then act upon it. If they can’t, then I can suggest some people who can. #TheKeyIsWe
10. Labels can be damaging.
    Hey, we’re not made up of the same passions, interests, abilities and talents. Lumping entire groups of people together, whether by race, ethnicity, religion, education, or socioeconomic background is a damaging way to look at humankind. Here’s the thing, we are all different, but we are ALL human. Pulling from a few of the numbers listed above, we are going to have similarities and differences, but could you imagine if we started to look for commonalities instead of placing labels between us?
11. Having a deep sense of empathy costs a lot in tissues; pick up a handkerchief.
    This world is full of moving moments, both of pride and joy and sadness. If you don’t feel something everyday that takes your breath away and makes you pull out a hanky, then you need to reread 1-10 everyday until you do. Don’t be afraid to feel things, I mean really, really FEEL things, because that’s the first step to having a lasting impact on this world.
12. Our children deserve a better world.
    They do.
13. Our children learn from us, and our actions are the loudest way we deliver our messages.
    Talk is cheap and kids know it. If you want to teach them to be compassionate, then you need to be compassionate. If you want to teach them to be environmentally responsible adults, then BE a responsible adult. If you want to teach them to have self worth, then damn it.. have self worth. If you want to teach them that everyone is created equal, then support equality. We pour our energy into the things that we value the most, whether you recognize that fact or not, and children pay attention.And if you don’t have children, don’t think you’re off the hook. You are a teacher to every child that you interact with and even to those who see you from afar. Pay attention and decide what message you are teaching.
14. There is still so much work to be done.
    We have countless opportunities every single day to do better. So today, while we honor those who were lost fourteen years ago, and for all of those who have been touched by the events of September 11th, 2001, remind yourself that you are here for a reason and you are capable of being a source of love and light in this world. Be that today and always and maybe, just maybe, we can do some of the hard work that needs to be done every day.
    

OPPORTUNITY FOR LOCAL READERS IN THE NYC AREA:
If what I’ve written today has resonated with you,
then you won’t want to miss this opportunity.

September 14th, 2015: Free screening of Planetary,
with special presentations!
Click link or photo below to learn more…

You might also be interested in reading:
Rising From Ashes: One World Trade Center

About Post Author

Kelly Schwark

Writer, Blogger, Artist, Flying-solo Mom, Supports our military, small business, and NASA. Interests: SocialMedia, Psychology, and TEDx Talks

kelly.schwark@gmail.com

http://www.kellyschwark.com/

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