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**This summer, I wrote a review for a Victoria’s Secret Bra, but it was more than just a review. Months ago, I decided that #IAmPerfect in a completely and utterly imperfect way. With a dialogue now taking place about the petition that addresses the “perfect body” marketing campaign, I thought it was a good time to revisit my review. By the way, I proudly signed the petition… did you??? **
Who doesn’t recognize the pink stripes of a Victoria’s Secret bag? The next time that you are at the mall, you are certain to see a few people confidently toting the bag with a bit more zip in their step than if they were carrying around any other bag filled with unmentionables.
Oh, did I say unmentionables? Well, for today’s post… I’m mentioning them.
Victoria’s Secret was kind enough to send me a box of goodies to review recently and I must admit that, at first, I was a bit conflicted. Have they met me??? Do they understand what lessons I want my daughter to learn, and the kind of world that I want for her? Did they have any idea about what this little box would stir in me?(Sorry Victoria, but if we are sharing secrets and baring all- then you will get the whole story!)
Years ago, I was one of those women who would happily make my purchases of said unmentionables, nightgowns, perfume and whatever promotions they had going. It was fun, exciting, and always made me smile to think of the fantastic patterns or brightly colored matching sets, secretly tucked under my clothing.
Fast forward twenty years.
Of those twenty, I had spent eleven years as a Military and Veteran spouse, had my marriage suffer a heartbreaking end, and, for the last two years, I have been raising my soon-to-be-seven year old in a girls only home. Even our cat is female. Life happens. Practical and budget friendly have since moved in, and taken over fun and playful. I don’t relate to the young, vibrant supermodels and those once beloved stripes from a Victoria’s Secret bag, had faded.
It’s funny how there are certain points in your life when your entire perspective changes in a heartbeat. I’ve had a few if those moments.
- The days after the towers collapsed, and I knew that my newly-wed husband and our friends would experience war.
- The day he deployed and the day returned.
- The day I had my first miscarriage.
- The day I found out I was having a daughter.
- The day she was born.
- The day she started singing along to lyrics on the radio and asked the meaning.
- The day my husband left.
- The day when a striped box with a bra arrived at my door.
That last one might not seem like a big deal, but it made me evaluate what message I wanted to share. This store, the one that I used to find fun and playful, had become a source of things that I was no longer comfortable accepting. As a mom to a daughter, I am not okay with the way that society still sets gender roles; the way that beauty is defined by size 0 and airbrushing; the way that women are frequently portrayed as sexual objects in order to sell products.
But it goes even further than that- this box at my door forced me to look at the aspects of my life where I was no longer comfortable and whether or not I am willing to settle and find comfort, or embrace discomfort in order to change. I cannot change society, but I can take ownership of my part in this world. I made that declaration when my daughter was born, but this little box challenged me to look at how I identify myself and what I’ve lost along the way. I am not extremely comfortable with my slightly weathered, slower physical self. I am not extremely comfortable being the “single mom” and I still struggle with finding a place where I can stretch my talents and provide for myself and my daughter. But I try. Health, as the World Heath Organization had declared in 1948, is multi-faceted, and I look for ways to be a healthy influence.
So what I am I doing to help change and bring about “health” for myself and for others?
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I encourage my daughter to explore her interests- regardless of whether the packaging is pink or blue.
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I teach my daughter to be proud of who she is, and to accept and celebrate differences in others.
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As a photographer, I will not airbrush pounds or wrinkles away… though I admit, I will still gladly use Photoshop to remove cat fur from my clothing!
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I will continue to encourage health and well being to my daughter, my readers and myself.
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I will let go of the past to make room for the future that is truly intended for me.
With all of that out in the open, and with the knowledge that I do not agree with the fashion-models-only defined as beautiful in marketing… I am giving high marks to the two products that I would have not otherwise tried. Here I am, a closer to average-sized woman that you will not see on the pages of a Victoria’s Secret catalog, donning their Angel By Victoria’s Secret Sport Bra and I can honestly say that it IS extremely comfortable before, during and after a workout! And if you typically hate wearing socks as much as I do, then you will absolutely LOVE their Mesh Sport Socks! In fact, the quality and comfort impressed me so much that the next time I am in a position to spend a little extra on unmentionables and heavenly socks, then you may just spot me toting a striped bag around the mall!
The decision to take and post these photos was not an easy one, but if I want my daughter to be confident in the skin that she is in, if I want to teach her that everyone and every body type is beautiful, then I too shouldn’t be ashamed of who I am right here, right now. I will still work to be a healthier version of me, but for now- I am comfortable.
*Occasionally, Influenster will send me products to try and review. This post is not paid for- it is merely my personal review of the most recent products that I have received. Thanks, Influenster and Victoria’s Secret!
